Hello To My Inner Child

Let’s talk about the inner child.

(n) a person’s supposed original or true self, especially when regarded as damaged or concealed by negative childhood experiences.

I have been diving back into my spiritual side, after unintentionally pushing it away. No, it’s not a recommended part of my therapy, but it is important to me.

The concept of the inner child is not primarily spiritual, and it is used in psychology and some psychotherapies, but inner child work and inner child healing is still a little taboo, and I did not know about it until several years ago or so.

“It can be used to resolve emotions in childhood your “inner child” still holds, as well as the joy, innocence, and confidence that is your birthright.” (Harley Therapy)

This can include learning how your childhood has impacted you today, learning to re-parent yourself/your inner child. The goal is to accept and reconnect with that part of your personality.

I recently had an inner child reading. One that revealed my inner child withdrew very early in life, likely around the age of 3 or 4. She learned very quickly that it was best to stay quiet. Quiet would keep her safe. I quickly went into a safe space in my head.

A few glimpses from my reading:

“You were/are a very sensitive and insightful little girl, wise beyond your years. You noticed patterns and could kind of see energy in motion.

You are becoming more aware of yourself, separating some of the conditioning from childhood from who you really are....as if you were hidden, even from yourself.

You have felt that you had no control and so you fell silent within... you are a strong and somewhat stubborn little girl, you didn’t easily give in to the fear.... your inner child kept you kind of propped up when the going got rough.

Your inner child has been cowering for a long time. This is for good reason. And it is also safe now for you, the adult to hold and love your little self so that she feels ready to either look at the past or to move on from a new point of strength.

I get the sense that you prefer to go solo, you don’t easily trust others, but you do trust your inner voices.... you could say that you have an inner wise man.... your inner child is quite Old in some respects, an ancient one that you are just tapping into. She is fun and full of joy when she is free...the sense that she has led you through a troubled time in your life, now things should get easier.

She challenges you to get out in the summer sunshine, enjoy the good days and taking a walk in the park.... sit on the swing and dream a little..I get the sense that you can tend to restrain yourself, afraid to reach out.... but this is the time in your life when you are ready to bring new energy around..”

This photo above is from my pre-K years. I had stopped crying for that smile. I had bad separation anxiety and often cried every time I was dropped off at school.

I’ve been “toughing it up” since the early days. It’s been a blessing for my resilience, but a curse when it comes to not being hard on myself or allowing myself to feel what I feel. I’ve always had the playful, dreamy, silly side to myself. I tend to push this side of me far far away, feeling the need to stay serious and keep my guard up in this world.

Learning about my inner child has been a big source in my healing during my C-PTSD treatment. She (little Haley) has been with me all along, and knows me best.

My job now is to make sure she knows it’s safer now to open up. She doesn’t have to be silent anymore. Her voice matters. I am re-learning with her, who I am, who I was before my inner child shut down. It’s pretty transformational.

I was not sure what to expect when I took the plunge and received this spiritual reading, if you are interested I am happy to pass along the recommendation. The results opened my eyes, and I was surprised to how much I resonated with the findings. Soon, I will write a letter to my inner child, and I am looking for more exercises and ideas to incorporate inner child work in my healing/daily life.

Recognizing that there is a child, or a hurt child, within us all is helpful to find empathy and compassion for ourselves. It’s hard to see that when we look in the mirror, and it’s why I often turn back to old photographs. Love, as always, has to start with us.